I wake up in my room, alive somehow, and the dragon has vanishedвЂ¦after doing nothing to this village except kill several people and scare the rest. It then pulls out my heart and eats itвЂ¦I canвЂ™t wait for that to be explainedвЂ¦ A Heartless CharacterвЂ¦Literally Oh god, itвЂ™s going to be one of those вЂњThe Chosen OneвЂќ stories isnвЂ™t it? The dragon steps around aimlessly while I hack at its feet, until it smacks me away and starts speaking in some unintelligible language. What is he expecting to happen? Is the dragon just going to see one person running for it and fly away with itвЂ™s tail between its legs? What is he fighting for exactly? If the woman he waved to earlier was in danger I may understand him doing anything he could to try and save her, but he just runs at the dragon with absolutely no plan. Suddenly my character, after grabbing a sword on the ground, starts charging for the dragon.ДЄm I supposed to find this behavior brave or endearing? I donвЂ™t know a single thing about my character, so it just comes off as weird and genuinely stupid. I then see a relatively awesome cinematic where a dragon plops out of a black hole thing in the sky and attacks my villageвЂ¦because I guess thatвЂ™s what dragons do. ThatвЂ™s not a compliment to it, rather me creating fun out of a bad experience. Fortunately, it kinda did, but thatвЂ™s just me tricking the game into being better. I thought it would drastically change the impression many characters were giving off, since they were going to speak to a child like an adult, which may alter the themes and messages DragonвЂ™s Dogma is trying to show. I didnвЂ™t expect it to make that much of an emotional impact, but when he was shown waving to a woman, who looks like his older sister since I look 13, I was glad that I chose this adorable character. I was trying to make my journey as mystical and charming as possible, so I went for a somewhat вЂChild MageвЂ™ look. Yes, I chose a short man as my character. Wait, that wasnвЂ™t my character? What the hell was the point of all of that?! Is it supposed to be a flash forward? If so, my four foot tall hobbit character really grew up. So, some unexplained door opens and the game cuts jarringly to a character creation screen. It also didnвЂ™t help that my allies were shouting вЂњThe lion is weak to magicвЂќ, despite the fact that I didnвЂ™t have anything magical on me to use. Many of the melee animations look like pieces of paper crunching up against each other My allies also die very quickly, which is easily fixed by me just going over to them and pressing B, so the whole battle made me feel uncomfortably invincible. It kinda looked like I was stabbing the beast, but because many of the melee animations look like pieces of paper crunching up against each other, I couldnвЂ™t really tell. I resorted to climbing on its back like an overly friendly toddler and moving my body around. It didnвЂ™t start off so bad since I was using a sword, shield and there werenвЂ™t many enemies, but the Chimera takes a huge amount of damage and I was never really sure if I was even hurting it at all. After six hours IвЂ™m kicking myself for not just quitting then and there.Д¬ombat in DragonвЂ™s Dogma is monotonous and messy. The Chimera battle was more of a sign that this game was bad than I first thought. IвЂ™m getting sick of games that just have dragons being the size of big cars. So far IвЂ™m not as hooked as I expected, but that dragon is pretty cool I guess. I see a dragon, it talks (which was pretty cool actually) and then we fight some goblins and a Chimera. The game starts surprisingly abruptly as I play as some random man walking around in some ruins to apparently fight a dragon, for some reason. DonвЂ™t think of this as a review, more like a gaming journalвЂ¦written in blood. And yes I know that those are some very popular games I just branded, so I guess that makes my opinion automatically wrong, right?ДЄnyway, allow me to recount my 6 hour trudge through DragonвЂ™s Dogma. DragonвЂ™s Dogma is the worst game I have ever played.Д®ven my most hated of games like BioShock, Prototype, Red Dead Redemption and Might and Magic: Dark Messiah at least have some semblance of charm and character.

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